Kai's Been Kidnapped! Or Wait, He's Where?
by Boogaleaf
Summary: Just a normal day until someone notices the lack of a stoic slate haired teenager. Everyone's scrambling to find Kai, and what? Spencer and Ian are gone, too? Warnings: quite a few pairings. Nothing beyond just mentioning. TalaBryan, SpencerIan, TysonReiKai, MaxKenny. Hope I make you laugh.


**Well, I opened Microsoft Word with the intention of getting to the next chapter of New Opps, but that didn't really work out very well. This happened instead. I tried to be funny, but that probably didn't work out very well, either. This is the product of complete boredom and insomnia. **

**Anyway, I really hope I can make _someone_ laugh... **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Beyblade. There are NO original characters in this story.**

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"KAIIII!" Tyson's yelling could be heard throughout the dojo. Rei sighed, wondering what Tyson wanted now. "KAI, WHERE ARE YOU?" The yelling got closer to the living room, causing Rei to tense up, wondering if he should bolt for the back door while he had the chance. His moment of hesitation cost him his escape, however, as Tyson barged through the doorway.

"Kitty-chan," Rei's eye twitched at this new nickname, "Have you seen Kai recently?"

"Sorry, Ty. Can't say I have. Have you checked the kitchen or the backyard yet?" Tyson huffed in annoyance, then seemed to remember that he skipped one of the two aforementioned places.

"I'm gonna go check the kitchen!" he called over his shoulder as he ran at full speed. Rei shook his head, feeling sorry for Kai once Tyson inevitably found him.

Tyson skidded into the kitchen, turning his head every which way, scanning quickly for the missing teen. Upon not finding anything, Tyson sighed and decided he would reward himself with a snack. As he reached the cupboards, he noticed a slip of paper lying innocently on the countertop. He picked it up and scanned it quickly, eyes widening in disbelief at the short message scrawled on the page. He reread it, just to make sure he understood it.

In a flash, he was racing back to the living room, snack forgotten, in search of Rei. Bolting through the door again, he startled Rei right out of his seat.

"REI, REI! We have a problem!" Tyson yelled, waving the paper back and forth in front of the neko-jin. For what seemed like the hundredth time already, Rei gave an exasperated sigh before indulging the younger teen and reading the offered note.

_Dear Bladebreakers,_

_We have Kai. Thought we'd take him off your hands._

_Maybe you'll be lucky and you'll never have to see him again._

_I & S_

Rei's eyes widened in disbelief, much like Tyson's had just moments ago. Someone had taken Kai? Who would be stealthy enough, let alone dumb enough to try such a thing? They had to tell the others, and try to find Kai. Maybe he should start with the police? Then again, it was common knowledge that the police wouldn't take anything seriously until at least twenty-four hours of absence.

Tyson seemed to have the same idea. However, as per usual, he had to go and be loud about it. He took in a lungful of air, then bellowed.

"MAX! KENNY! KAI'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!"

The two teens waited for a moment before hearing sudden, hurried movements coming from Max's room. Soon after, the door flew open and both boys stumbled out, faces flushed and both were panting slightly. Kenny was the first to regain his bearings.

"Kai's _what_?" He asked, voicing the question both he and his boyfriend were thinking.

"_Missing. Kidnapped." _Tyson replied, fuming.

_**~~ Demolition Boys' apartment, around the same time~~**_

"Hey, Bry? Have you seen Spence or Ian?" Tala asked, walking into Bryan's bedroom and flopping down on top of his lover. Bryan let out an 'oof' as he set his book to the side.

"Seen them? I didn't even know Ian was awake yet." Bryan replied. Tala rolled his eyes. It was obvious Bryan's head had been in that book the entire morning.

"Then should I be worried?" Tala asked, biting his lip lightly. He didn't like it when Ian was out running amuck in town. He supposed if Spencer was with him, it wouldn't be that bad… But still.

"Worried? I think you should fear for the town's most likely rapidly decreasing population." Bry joked. Tala gave him a hard stare. "Oh, c'mon, Tal, you know I'm only kidding. Spencer's with him. He wouldn't let anything happen to the imp, or let the imp do anything to the public." Bryan replied almost seriously. He really could never pass up a chance to insult the little Russian. Tala elbowed him for his effort.

"I know, but still…" He rolled over to he was on his back, still on top of Bryan. He let out a harsh sigh, stretching his back a bit before getting up and off of the bed. "I guess I'll go make lunch for two, then."

Bryan nodded as he picked up his book, determined to finish it this time. He absent mindedly asked for a peanut butter sandwich as he flipped the page, Tala scoffed at his lover's bazar choice of sandwich.

Much like in the Bladebreaker residence, Tala walked into the kitchen to find a scrap piece of paper on the counter. Curiosity piqued, he snatched it and read it over swiftly.

_Tala,_

_I've taken Spencer and Ian._

_Maybe we'll all be lucky and Ian will manage to 'get lost'._

_There's no hope for either of them._

_K_

Tala immediately felt a protective panic rise in him. This '_K_' was claiming to have taken his teammates! His mind was jumping from adversary to adversary, trying to figure out which one would have a motive for kidnapping his friends. King? Kenny? Kane? Kevin? Obviously Kenny wasn't strong or skilled enough to take them, plus he was on Kai's team. That ruled him out.

King? Kenny? Kane? Kevin?

Kevin was fairly small and weak as well. There truly was no physical way he could have done it.

King? Kenny? Kane? Kevin?

That left two people. The Demolition Boys hadn't had to deal with either of the two bladers left, so what could they want with Spencer and Ian?

Realizing Bryan was still reading contently in his room, Tala sped off to tell him what had happened.

_**~~ At the mall…~~**_

"Man, Spence, what a great idea! I mean, we all needed to just come out and hang around somewhere." Ian said, as he, Spencer and Kai sat down at the fountain in the middle of the mall in town.

"I hate to say it, shrimp, but I kind of agree. I needed some new clothes, anyway, and the ice cream is an added bonus." Kai said, taking a lick of the chocolate ice cream he had just ordered. Spencer smiled at the two younger teens, enjoying his own mint ice cream. He was happy he could treat them to this day out.

"Yes, it has been nice. I'm glad you were both up to it," he said. "I feel bad about not inviting the others, but it's been so long since it's been just the three of us.

"I know!" Ian practically squealed. He finished off the last bites of his ice cream. "So where should we go now?" he asked impatiently. Spencer and Kai chuckled.

"Why don't you hold on a minute and wait until Kai and I finish our cones first, hm?" Spencer suggested.

Ian huffed as if it would be the most boring thing in the world. "Fine…" He eventually grumbled. Kai rolled his eyes and began to nibble on his cone.

_**~~ Bladebreaker's residence~~ **_

"Has anyone tried calling Kai's cellphone?" Max asked. Tyson rounded on him immediately.

"Why would kidnappers leave their victim's cell phone on, Max? That'd be, like, kidnapper no-no number one!" The other occupants in the room could tell that Tyson was only snapping at them because he was worried about Kai.

"So you _have_ tried calling it?" Kenny inquired. It could just as likely be turned on, as it is likely the kidnappers thought to turn it off.

"… mdlnfdg…" Tyson mumbled.

"What was that?"

"… mmmgf…"

"Huh?"

"No, okay? I didn't try!" Tyson finally came clean.

"Tyson, the key to finding Kai is to make sure we go over every possible variable, okay? Even if it seems like it's wasting time, it could give us a huge clue. Who knows?" Rei tried to reason with the thick headed boy. He was worried about Kai himself, but freaking out and running around like a chicken with its head cut off wasn't doing any good for anyone.

Tyson shifted his eyes to the floor. "Okay…" he murmured quietly. Max ran to get the cordless phone to try calling Kai's cell, just as the phone started ringing. Everyone turned hopeful, and Max dashed faster, hoping to hear Kai's voice on the other end, telling them he was just fine.

"Hello?" He answered excitedly.

"_Is Kai there_?" The voice on the other end asked.

"Oh… Um, who's this?"

"_It's Tala, Max_." The redhead answered.

"Oh, hi, Tala. No, Kai's not here… We found a note and think he's been kidnapped…"

"_You did_?" Tala asked a bit breathlessly.

"Yeah… Why?"

"_Was it signed by a '_K_'?_" Tala's hopes were raising by the second.

"No… It was signed by an 'I and S'." Max told him.

"_Oh… Never mind, then."_ Tala sighed over the phone. "_Spencer and Ian are missing as well. We found a note signed by someone called '_K_'." _

"Oh. Well, that's strange… You think it could be a coincidence or…?"

"_I don't know, Maxie. Either way, three of our friends are missing. Bryan and I tried the police, but it hasn't been twenty-four hours yet." _

"I know… That's what Rei said when I suggested the same thing."

"_Knowing Kai's luck, he could have gotten himself into any number of dangerous scrapes." _

"Same goes for that Ian of yours." Max shot back.

Tala chuckled in the stressful moment.

"_Hey, boy, if you're pointing fingers, then I should have two on me. Kai was 'mine' just like Ian is before he was 'yours'."_

"Is this really the time to be discussing ownership?"

"_No, probably not. We'll go and look around town or something, and let you know if anything turns up."_

"Okay, we'll probably go out looking, too." And with that, Tala hung up on Max.

Max sighed. Well, they'd better start somewhere if they ever wanted to find their captain.

_**~~ Two hours later~~**_

Spencer and Ian dropped Kai off at the dojo on their way to the Demolition Boys' apartment. Kai thanked them for the nice time out, and waved to them from the front door as they kept walking.

Once inside, Kai found completely empty. No one was home, and Kai smiled. He could still relax for a while. He went and crashed on the couch, dumping his bags by the door of his room on his way. He soon fell sleep, being exhausted from Ian dragging him all over the place.

_**~~ Demolition Boys' apartment~~**_

Ian unlocked the door to their apartment and immediately noted the silence and lack of light. He quirked an eyebrow before shrugging and moving further into the apartment, Spencer following him.

"Guess Bry treated Tala to lunch or something." Ian said, dropping his bags in the middle of the floor.

"Maybe," Spencer grunted.

"Oh well, more time to ourselves!" Ian said, leaping at Spencer.

_**~~ Another hour later, Bladebreaker's dojo~~**_

Exhausted from their search, the Bladebreakers piled back into the dojo. They were depressed at the lack of information on Kai's whereabouts. It was really disheartening. Kenny decided to go and turn on the news, just in case something came on, getting grumbled replies from the rest of his friends.

"Man, I can't believe we didn't get anywhere!" Tyson moaned. He was starting to get really worried. Rei patted his back and hugged him tightly.

"We'll find him, Ty. We need him." Rei said. He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Tyson returned the hug quickly, rubbing Rei's back soothingly.

"You're right, Rei. He can't leave us yet. Not now. He'll tu-" Tyson was cut off by a loud cry from the living room, obviously Kenny. Acting quickly, they all dashed to the other room, all shouting out to Kenny in their over reactive states.

What they found when they got there surprised them all. Kenny was staring wide-eyed and a groaning Kai. The slate haired teen rolled over in his spot on the couch, cracking an eye open to see what all the noise was about. In seconds, Rei and Tyson were on him, pelting him with questions and accusations.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on!" Kai cried, trying to worm his way out from under the younger bladers. "What are you talking about?"

"Kai! You were missing!" Tyson yelled.

"And the note!" Rei added.

"We were looking for forever!" Tyson cried.

"Where have you been?" Rei ended their questions and such.

Kai blinked at them for a minute, trying to make sense of everything. "Note?" He finally voiced. Tyson nodded fervently, pulling the folded piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to the captain. Kai read it over, then laughed. "That idiot!" he scoffed. "I knew he was leaving you guys a note, I just didn't think he would write something so stupid with so many complications." He ended his sentence in peels of laughter.

The rest of the team stared at him, dumbfounded.

Calming down, Kai decided to explain. "I went out shopping with Ian and Spencer today. Ian said he'd leave a note on the counter for you guys. The part about 'we have Kai'? That's just him being an idiot with his Russian-Japanese translations. The rest, about 'if you're lucky', we pick on each other like that all the time. If you're wondering about the signature… I & S, that's Ian's way of saying Ian and Spencer."

Needless to say, the team felt a bit foolish at the moment. They had gone straight to the worst possible conclusion. Then it dawned on Max.

"So, the letter Tala called about, signed by a '_K_'…?"

"That was the letter I left there." Kai replied simply.

"Ohhhhh… Well, shit… Someone better call Tala and Bryan…" Max deadpanned. Kai winced.

"Them, too?"

"Yup."

"We're dead."

"Yup."

"Fuck."

"Yu-"

"Don't even…"

"…"

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**I'm going to be one of those people that put an author's note at the bottom, too.**

**I'm really looking to beta for someone. I'm getting desperate. If there is anyone that knows an author looking for one, or is an author looking for one, or anything of the like, please let me know! You'd be my best friend...? I'd do a request? =]  
**


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